In Vienna, where culture is spelled with a capital “K” and everyone prides himself on his knowledge of Literatur and Musik, no self-respecting family would be without its own Quartet.
There are young couples who may have to start with a Trio or even a Duet, but they will nor rest until they have their own Quartet. Once having achieved a Quarter, no self-respecting family could ever again be satisfied with less than four instruments. There are some who boast Quintets and even Sextets, but this can only be regarded as snobbery, since few salons can accommodate the sound produced by six energetic strings, let alone a large enough audience to listen to it. Some families only play in their friends' Quartets, and very poor relations only listen, but everyone participates in the musical evenings that are so essential in the Kultnr Stadt Wien.
The trick, of course, is to snare a really first-class First Violin—the Second Violin, the Bratsche, and the Cello will follow. The players may be extremely talented amateurs or famous professionals: a good cellist from the Philharmonie will enjoy playing with the Bratschist from the Musikverein. Under no condition can a family member play unless he or she is an outstanding musician. A talented and attractive First Violin with a presentable wife will be sought after by every hostess in Vienna, and it stands to reason that he will play in Frau Hofrat's Quartet far more readily if the Councillor and Frau Hofrat ask distinguished guests to listen to him and serve a delicious dinner after the music. No one could expect him to play even for the most appreciative audience if he had to eat a tough bird afterwards.
Quartets meet monthly or possibly every other month. The musicians are the same, but the program, the audience, and most important, the dinners, are different. Before arranging her menus, Frau Hofrätin invites the First Violin and his wife to an intimate little dinner. This not only acquaints him with the caliber of her cook and whets his appetite for pleasures to come, but it gives Frau Hofrätin an opportunity for adjusting her menus to his programs. The First Violin thinks in terms of a well-arranged program of chamber music for the winter; Frau Hofrätin thinks in terms of a well-balanced series of menus that tastefully conform with the musical program, and that allow suitable opportunities to produce her specialties. She hopes for an evening of Mozart so that her matchless Salzburger Nockerln will be appreciated, she hints for Dvorak and Smetana so that her Rebrücken in sour Cream can be included. The First Violin suggests Tchaikovsky or possibly Borodin, and Frau Hofrat is dismayed: her beef Stroganoff does not compare with her paprika chicken. But she welcomes bis suggestion of an evening of Béla Bartók: The music may be rather advanced for her audience and annoying to the people in the apartment above, but her spicy Hungarian gulyàs will compensate for everything.
She excels in fish pudding and is delighted when Herr Hofrat, who is of course well up on Musik and glad of an opportunity to show the First Violin that he isn't dealing with a musical imbecile, suggests Grieg. The First Violin, who does not know about the fish pudding, which Frau Hofrat serves with cucumber salad, is not enthusiastic. He loves his Haydn and would also like the post-humous Schubert piece in D. This reference depresses the Hofrätin, who likes to think of the living…. Hindemith, whom she adores, springs to her mind. How about Quartet Number 3, Opus 22? The wife of the First Violin abruptly changes the subject to César Franck. Fortunately they are eating a really first-class carp and both the First Violin and his wife feel that musical concessions can be made where the table leaves no room for criticism. Frau Hofrätin is inspired to address the First Violin as “Meister,” and immediately gets her way with Hindemith, for which she gracefully concedes him César Franck, and wonders desperately where she can lay her hands on a large and well-aged Belgian hare.
Quail follow the carp, and the little dinner party is a great success. The Brahms evening is planned in greatest musical-gastronomical harmony. Although Brahms wisely came to live in Vienna, he was born in Hamburg, so the first course could be a perfect Krabssalat, and the rest of the dinner completely Viennese. It might even include some of Brahms's favorite dishes. The Italian evenings of Boccherini, Paganini, and Scarlatti arrange themselves smoothly around a pollo alla romana and dolce di castagne. There is no problem about Debussy and Ravel, because Herr Hofrat has given the Hofrätin a first edition of Escoffier that she will consult. This leaves only the spring evenings to plan and one or two programs to arrange in case the Quartet should become a Trio through an unforeseen cancellation—or a Quintet because of an eminent musical guest. The final planning is done over black coffee, Bruckner is included for Vienna's sake, Beethoven, and Hugo Wolf. A Bach trio will provide for any emergency, and if there should be a second mishap Frau Hofrat has the beautiful Chopin trio and her cauliflower polonaise up her sleeve. The Brahms. Beethoven, and Mendelssohn quintets will be held in reserve for visiting musicians. If a string should fail them at the last moment, Schumann's Quartet in E flat for piano and strings can be substituted, with Herr Hofrat at the piano.
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