“'Ello, I siy,” said Mrs. Bags, when I paid off the taxi and lifted my bag onto her front steps where she was stirring the morning soot with a well-worn broom, “'ad a bit of trouble in Paris and 'ad to nip and run for it?”
I kissed her on the cheek (a rule of the house) and said, “No on business, Mrs. Bags. Have you a room?”
“'Ave I got a room. Lord love a duck (I 'ear them Greek goddesses alas loved a duck). I alas 'ave a room. Too many. Come in and wipe yer feet like a good lad.”
“How's the Colonel?” I asked.
“Fine and dandy… down at the Derby makin' book on the Grand National…”
“How's his health?”
“'Ealth?” said Mrs. Bags with a leer. “Like a 'oss…like a 'oss in clover…doesn't lift a finger in 'ot water to 'elp me.”I had my usual room under a great carved beam that seemed to have come from one of Lord Nelson's flagships and a bed that seemed also to have suffered. I changed my shirt, brushed my suit, and called up Ned, who worked on a news service to America, and I asked him if still went to parties in Mayfair and he said yes, and I asked if Lord D gave parties and he said of course, but wasn't Lady D too old for me…? But I said I wanted to go and get something over with. So Ned said, hell yes, to put on my fish and tails and he'd take me.
I like to get details like this out of the way. I told Mrs. Bags I was going out for dinner and she pressed my pants in the kitchen, and at about six Colonel Bagsby Bags drove up in front of the place in one of those little motored bugs that the English call a motor car. It had a one-lunged motor, and the Colonel lay almost on his back and drove by peeping over a three-inch windshield. I always liked the Colonel…he was a tall thin man with a clipped brown mustache, no teeth, and a loose, many-chinned neck. His hair was very black …on Monday…by Sunday it showed white at the roots for some reason. He walked very tall and carried the last sword cane in England (in which he kept an account of his bookmaking).
“Cheero,” he said when he saw me, “a proper young sport. Where to?”
“I'm going to Lord D's.”
“Right,” said the colonel, lighting a foul pipe, “Lord D, one of my best customers when he pays up. Been running a horse, the Curry Kid, and not doing well with it.”
Pinterest
