Hash House Confidential

04.30.07

I hate chain restaurants. Same as you. Give me local or let me starve. Of course, I claim certain exceptions, just as a Californian devoted to a macrobiotic diet might make an exception for In-N-Out burgers.

As an example, Schlotzky's, based in Austin, Texas, bakes its own bread and dishes up a great faux muffuletta, spread with mustard and chopped black olives. They started out in 1971 and now have locations in more than 30 states. Every time I take a bite, I marvel at what fast food can be.

But my devotion to Schlotzky's pales compared to Waffle House, founded in suburban Atlanta in 1955. They now have more than 1,300 locations as far west as Arizona, as far north as Pennsylvania. But they won my patronage way back.

waffle house

I've always loved the retro-cool look of those shoebox-shaped 24-hour diners. Always smiled when I spied those yellow-and-black scrabble-board signs, looming in the distance at the top of an interstate off-ramp. Always been keen on watching the grill cooks in action, frying eggs and bacon on a flattop, flipping pecan waffles from a smoking iron, spooning grits from a sputtering pot.

My regular order is two eggs scrambled with cheese, hashbrowns scattered and smothered, a bowl of grits, buttered white toast, and strong black coffee. The hashbrowns are key. Scattered means they are cooked free-form on the flattop, developing crunchy edges and creamy interiors. Smothered means they get a blanket of chopped onions on top.

Yeah, I know Waffle House probably has a big carbon footprint. Yeah, it's a chain. But sometimes, I just want a good plate of hashbrowns.

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