You Rang?
Most Americans aren’t comfortable with servants. So the thought of a butler we’ve never met unpacking our suitcase is vaguely disturbing. Is it our egalitarian nature, or is it that we simply do not like the idea of a stranger deciding where to put our underwear? Discomfort aside, more and more upscale hotels, like the St. Regis line from Starwood Hotels and Resorts (most notably in New York, Rome, Beijing, and, coming later this year, Los Angeles), have instituted butler service providing guests with their own man (or woman) Godfrey.
The apartments atop the Hotel Arts in Barcelona are typical. Says Arts butler Frank McGregor: “Upon the guest’s arrival, I escort him from the lobby to one of the apartments, letting him know that I am there to arrange all details of his stay, from housekeeping to the services of a bellman and concierge.” The butler is the one to see if you need restaurant reservations or theater tickets, as well as a shoeshine. But, says McGregor, “our job is to make a guest feel at ease, not force him to accept every service we provide.”
If renting a villa, you might end up with an entire household staff. Goldeneye, Ian Fleming’s former estate in Jamaica (which is now for rent), comes with a houseman who takes care of all food services, from setting and clearing the table to pouring wine and making breakfast. He is the most visible member of the staff, and the one you’ll feel closest to at the end of your stay, says Hope Markes, Goldeneye’s general manager.
There is also a house-keeper who works an eight-hour day, cleaning the villa and providing extra linen when necessary; a cook, who prepares lunch and dinner and is on call from 10 to 10; and a groundsman, who checks the pool three times daily. “We ask guests to fill out a questionnaire stating their preferences, especially for food,” says Markes, “but staff is also there to carry out any reasonable request,” among which she includes working late to host a party, running to town on errands, or giving special attention when laundering a favorite blouse. Can a guest dismiss a staff member? “No,” says Markes, “but we would automatically replace anyone who wasn’t working out.”
Miss Manners (a.k.a. Judith Martin) says, “Let people do their jobs,” and paraphrases De Tocqueville: “The dignity between servant and master in America is based on each knowing that their positions could be reversed tomorrow.”
Tipping the Balance
I know they don’t tip in this country, but I can’t help leaving a few bucks.”
“The concierge was a big help with those tickets, but I have no idea how much to give him.”
“Valet parking is $5; do I still tip?”
Why is the art of tipping—and it is an art—such a problem, even for the most seasoned traveler? The answer is there’s more than one answer, and that makes us uneasy. The custom even horrifies Miss Manners, who insists that tipping brings out insecurity on the part of the tipper, greed on the part of the server, and tyranny on both sides. But you will agree with Miss Manners that “tips are an expected part of some people’s income, so we must tip.” She also reminds us that our wages are not docked for having a bad day.
Like death and taxes, tipping won’t go away. But here are some guidelines—from hoteliers, restaurateurs, and other experts around the world whom we polled—to ease the pain:
Do I tip both the doorman and the bellman? Yes—$1 for the doorman, and $1 per bag for the bellman. At luxury hotels, go with $2 for the doorman, $2 per bag. But never tip front-desk staff who escort you to the room.
What about the concierge? For services rendered, tip from $5 (for mailing letters and finding phone numbers) to between $20 and $50 (for getting impossible reservations for dinner or tickets for a sold-out show). Some guests tip even if they’ve received no service—but that’s usually to make their presence felt for the next time around. If only one service is performed, tip on the spot. If using a concierge throughout your stay, you may leave an envelope on which you have printed a specific name—a nice courtesy—but know that most tips are pooled among all concierge staff. And don’t ever pre-tip; it looks like bribery. Do, however, consider a gift—an elegant pen or chocolates, always with a special note—in lieu of money.
How about butlers? Surprisingly, tips are rare for butlers, although when tips are given, they average around $20.
And the chambermaid? Daily or at the end of the stay? Guidelines from the American Society of Travel Agents recommend $1 per night for stays of more than one night. But at a high-end hotel in expensive cities like New York or Los Angeles, $3 to $5 a day is more like it, depending on the accommodation. Tip daily to make sure that the right person is getting the money, but tipping on the spot isn’t necessary if you return while the maid is in the room.
How about the person who delivers a fax or a message? Most times, messages are just slipped under the door, so don’t get flustered if you meet the messenger face-to-face. A dollar will do, and even that’s not necessary.
And the room-service waiter? Check the menu. Room service, sometimes a hefty 15 to 20 percent, is often included in the tab. You don’t need to tip but may want to offer a little more, especially if the same waiter shows up night after night. If getting ice delivered, give a buck or two.
What if I’ve rented a villa with staff? Glenn Ormiston of WIMCO, a rental company with villas throughout the Caribbean and Europe, says, in general, tip 5 to 7 percent of the total rental, divided equally among inside staff (cook, butler); plus $25 to $50 per week for each of the outside staff (driver, gardener). With only a maid, tip $5 to $10 a day.
At a country inn? Most have service charges added, but don’t forget the nicety of an envelope labeled “housekeeping” or one printed with the maître d’s name.
In New York restaurants, is doubling the tax still the way to go? That comes out to a bit more than 16 percent, which is no longer considered adequate; 20 percent is the norm today. Ditto for most other big U.S. cities.
And restaurants in Europe? Don’t overtip—it really is frowned upon—but do leave from 2 to 5 percent of the bill in every country but Britain. The trick is to not look calculating; round up the tab as if you just happened to have a few spare bills or coins. In Britain, tip 5 percent if service is included and 15 percent (20 percent in London) if it is not (it’s usually noted clearly on the check when service is not included).
How about the sushi chef? No. Not in Japan (remember, you don’t even tip the waiter), nor in the United States, where you leave a tip just as you would if you sat at a table (nobody tips chefs, anyway). The same is true for a dim sum restaurant in Hong Kong or America.
What about captains? They’re a dying breed in older restaurants (where tips are usually pooled). Don’t worry about a gratuity here.
And the sommelier? In France and most other European countries, where a service charge is included for everything, there is no need to tip the sommelier (unless he or she performs an especially personal task, like seeking out and decanting a rare vintage). In the United States, the sommelier may suggest a wine, but it’s usually the waiter who serves it. As in Europe, you might tip only if a special service is performed.
And the coat check? Give $1 per coat ($5 per couple after a good meal at a top restaurant), but never to a waiter or manager who brings you your wrap.
Should I always go with the national custom, even if it means no tipping at all, such as in Japan? Yes, says Marian Goldberg at the Japan National Tourist Organization: “A visitor should never feel the need to tip a bellman or waiter. The only exception is when staying at a ryokan, where you will be greeted upon arrival by the head maid wearing a kimono. Immediately give her an envelope containing up to 3,000 yen (about $28); you may tip more at the end of the stay if some unusual service is provided (if, for example, she shops for a specific item or has a requested dish prepared). You should also tip guides 1,000 yen (about $10) a day, or offer a gift.”
And when at sea? The rules are complicated, but most companies publish guidelines on tipping stewards and waiters. At some all-inclusive lines, such as Silversea Cruises, tipping is strictly forbidden (soliciting a tip can result in the employee’s dismissal).
And the parking valet? Tip, even if you’ve paid a fee. Says Chuck Pick of Chuck’s Parking Service in LosAngeles: “A bartender gets a buck for pouring a drink, but he’s not keeping an eye on your Rolls-Royce.” A couple of bucks will do it for non-Rolls owners. Angelinos usually round a $3.50 parking fee up to $5. Give $2 to the valet who fetches your car at the hotel.
Are You Being Served?
In ancient times, a concierge (possibly from the Latin root conservus, or fellow slave) tended the caravans at desert outposts along the trade routes. During the Middle Ages, the job spread to Europe, where the comte des cierges (“keeper of the candles”) was entrusted with the care of visiting nobility. As ship and rail travel increased in the 1800s, the concierge became a fixture in European hotels of the period, helping guests navigate foreign terrain. Today, any hotel in the world worth more than three stars has a concierge behind the desk, most of them members of the Union Internationale Les Clefs d’Or.
But do Americans know how to use a concierge?
“Absolutely,” says Giovanni Valenti, chief concierge at the Mandarin Oriental Hong Kong. “Americans travel more and use the concierge more than any other group.”
However, adds Charles Fitzer, chief concierge at the Hotel Bel-Air in Los Angeles, some Americans still need to “enjoy the pleasures of service.” His advice: “Don’t be shy, just ask.”
“The true mark of sophistication,” says Valenti, is “treating the concierge as a friend—a human being—who can be trusted. Aggressive behavior is a sure sign of inexperience.” According to our poll, nothing turns off a concierge more than being shouted at or talked down to.
Says Roderick Levejac, chief concierge at the Hotel Lancaster in Paris and secretary of Les Clefs d’Or: “The requests make the difference. A worldly traveler is open to all suggestions. A first-timer is more likely to insist on only three-star recommendations for dinner.”
All concierges agree that the only unreasonable request is one that is illegal or unethical. A good concierge, they say, must be equal parts theater critic, restaurant reviewer, tour guide, and travel agent. Colin Short, head concierge at the Lanesborough in London, once arranged golf lessons for a guest in his suite. In 1990 Levejac was asked by a regular guest to find an American soldier she had fallen in love with—in 1948.
Of course, there’s always the exception, the snooty concierge who looks down his nose at the guests (admit it, we’ve all had that experience). Miss Manners has. Although, she says, she hears about “concierges who can produce elephants in the middle of the night for sultans,” she has often had difficulty getting simple things—an out-of-town newspaper or a dress pressed in an hour—even at the swankiest hotels: “Once I broke a shoe and was pointed down the street to the repair shop.”
Alone Together
You love an escape to the country, to an inn by the lake or a b&b in the mountains. Peace, quiet, relaxation. If only it weren’t for the other guests.
Can you have your cake and eat it too—in private?
Here are some things to think about before booking your rural retreat:
- Don’t pick an inn with communal dining; restaurants, even small ones, offer the anonymity of a private table.
- Check to make sure that your b&b isn’t in someone’s home, with the morning meal in the host’s dining room.
- Find inns with cottages and carriage houses so you’re not always oriented toward a central living room. Many inns in the Relais & Châteaux chain have all kinds of secluded accommodations.
- Put the question directly to the innkeepers; tell them you want a certain degree of privacy and see what they say. At Kingsbrae Arms, an eight-room manor house on the southeast coast of New Brunswick, chef-owner Harry Chancey takes pride in calling the whole house down for dinner each evening. “But we’ll serve you in your suite or put you at a table in the library if that’s what you want.”
- Remember, you’re bound to have some contact with guests at a small inn, so be nice.
Miss Manners suggests avoiding b&bs if sneaking off with someone.
Barbecue Blunders
Don’t pile your plate high with chorizo, morcilla, and other meats at a Chilean asado (barbecue) or an Argentine parrilla. Of course you can eat your fill, but return to the grill for seconds, thirds, and beyond. An estanciero once flicked our cold servings to the ground, warning: “Meat not piping hot is fit only for a dog.”
Taxi!
In Sydney and Budapest, feel free to jump into the front seat with the cabdriver. But in Buenos Aires, always use the rear door opposite the driver. In London, pay the driver through the window from the curb. Never tip drivers in Japan. With meterless cabs—as with pedicabs in Asia—the fee is often negotiated, so there’s usually no need to tip.
Covering Up
If you’re a woman on a trip to the Middle East, pack more than tank tops and shorts. You may wish to fall in with local custom (and, in Iran, local laws) by donning a scarf to cover your hair, and disguising your womanly curves as well. In a conservative city like Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, advises one well-traveled journalist, consider purchasing an abayya (a long, black, chadorlike garment), often for sale at hotels.
If the shoe fits
At a Japanese ryokan, expect to change your shoes to suit the occasion. Street shoes are exchanged in the entryway for padded hallway slippers, which you then leave at the entrance to your room, or any room that contains a tatami. Here, only socks are acceptable. Plastic shoes are designated exclusively for the WC, and when you stroll in the garden, you should don a pair of wooden getas, or sandals.